Jan 1
"You nasty wiper of other peoples bottoms! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your grandfather smelled of elderberries!"
- French soldier to King Arthur in the film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". "Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!" Winners: Dale guessed Pythons, but Tom nailed it first, followed by Wej.

Jan15
"Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it."
- This is from Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy". It is a book as well as a TV series. Winners: Dale got it immediately. Then TomN and Wej... Too easy.

Jan24
"Wow! That's great bat!"
- Lorraine Newman says this after taking a drink of a mixture whipped up in "The Bat-O-Matic 76" by Dan Akroyd on Saturday Night Live. It was a blender, used to make a love potion with an actual bat carcass in it. Guess the year? Winners: Nobody!
Other Guesses:
Batman after getting a 'Bat-job' from Batgirl?
William Bendix in "The Babe Ruth Story"?
Comment at a british cricket match?
(The Bat-O-Matic 76 was from 1976... Duh)

Feb1
"Why not just put out a trough of baked beans and garnish it with a couple of dead dogs?"
- John Cleese as Basil Fawlty in the "Gourmet Night" episode of Fawlty Towers. Trying to bring a bit of class to the hotel one night a week, which fails dismally, of course. Winners: Not a chance. Too British for you?
Some funny guesses:
Menu suggestion for the Crane Naval cafeteria?
Wedding reception plans in Korea?

Feb7
"There's somethin' about bein' in the woods that just makes ya... wanna... shit."
- Richard Pryor, from his stand-up act, circa 1975. Winners: Not.
Some guesses:
Bill Murray from the movie "Stripes"?
Hey! Who stole MY line?

Feb14
"Drizzle Drazzle Druzzle Drone, Time for zis one to come home."
- From my childhood... This incanation is uttered by "Mr. Wizard", who helps Tooter Turtle try different occupations and subsequently rescues him at the end of each episode. From the late 1960's and early 70's, "Tooter Turtle". Winners: Wej came closest:
"From the story teller in the Bullwinkle Show? Mr. Wizard?"

Feb21
"The future is fun
The future is fair
You may already have won
You may already be there."
- Firesign Theatre's 1971 landmark album, "I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus". This enticement draws "Mr. Ah...Clem" into the "bus to the future" for an adventure.
Winner: TomL knew the answer.

Feb28
"Better keep listening. There might be a bit about blessed are the bignoses."
- A trouble-maker teasing Graham Chapman in Monty Python's "Life of Brian", 1979. Winner: Dale.

Mar7
"We had 2 bags of Grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, 5 sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers and laughers... also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls... but the only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge..."
From the 1971 book "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" by Hunter S. Thompson, which was also made into a movie starring Bill Murray, called "Where the Buffalo Roam". Winner: Nick, hands down.

Mar14
"He went 'WHAP!' up the side of the head of my favorite baby seal with a lead-filled snowshoe"
- From Frank Zappa's "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" Album: Apostrophe, early 1974. Winners:
Dale: Quickest response.
Bill: Greediest response.
Nick: Most prolific response.

Mar21
"I've heard of 'Unisex' but I've never had it."
Statement by a flasher on Monty Python's Flying Circus, circa 1973.
Winners: Stumped you all.

Mar28
"I make these really cool table candles. First I pour wax all over a table, then I set it on fire, man!"
- Ceech and Chong, "Big Bambu". "Leeetttts Make a Dope deal" Starts with a B, ends with a B, has an O in the middle... 10 seconds Bob...
Winners: Wedge wins the expediency slot. Rob wins the "Toe that line" slot.
Guesses: Dennis Hopper in "Easy Rider"?

Apr4
"Would that my prick had such sting..."
- Robin Williams, Live at the Met. Winners: Nicht. Somebody shoulda got that one.

Apr11
"Hey fellas! I'm an unsuccessful cork!"
- This 3 stooges line holds distinction as having been used twice. First by Curly in "Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise", where he caps an oil gusher by sitting on it, but is lifted to the top of the gusher. Then the episode is remade with Joe Besser in 1957 as "Oil's Well That Ends Well", and Joe (blecch!) plays the unsuccessful cork. Winners: Not.

Apr18
"What do you feel like doing when I ring the bell? 5...4...3...2...1! Too late."
- First appeared on live stage, and probably on radio, this skit is best known from Monty Python's Flying Circus as "the Job Interview". John Cleese re-enacted the skit in 1976 on his BBC comedy special "How To Irritate People". It may also have appeared in a Python movie. Winners: BillR got the Python link! Good job. You win a verbal taunting.

Apr25
"Notice the simulated wails of small children. This is just as it sounded on the Titanic. Please do not attempt to rescue the children. Stay between the lines..."
- From the early '70s comedy album "Conceptionland" by the Conception Corporation. "Ride the Titanic" was one of many rides in this audio amusement park along with "The Ego Trip", "The Downer" and others. Winners: No.

May2
"She stuck out her tongue and the fun begun, She stuck it out at me and I just thumbed my nose, and kept on washin' my clothes... "
- From the early '70s album by Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band, this is called "Lick My Decals Off, Baby". One of the few artists of the time to successfully exceed Zappa's weirdness, but not his popularity. Winners: Hah. You have to listen to things other than mainstream radio to win this game.

May9
"Eat 'em, wipe 'em off, eat 'em again!"
- The Firesign Theatre's first album contained a '40s style radio detective drama "Nick Danger". This clip is from one of their most loved radio commercials for "Ma Rainey's Mole-Skin Cookies". Winners: Apparently no Firesign fans out there.

May16
"Well, Tom, you better get that Declaration signed before everyone takes off for the long 4th of July weekend."
- This album was recorded in 1961: Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America. It was rereleased in 1989. Jefferson is asking Ben Franklin's advice but Ben is suspicious "A Man Can't Be Too Careful What He Signs These Days."
Winners: Hah! Obscurity strikes again!

May23
"...then you turn left where the old schoolhouse USED to be!"
- From George Carlin's standup work of the early eighties, on asking for directions when lost in the country. Realistic! Winners: Didn't think it was THAT hard.

May30
"Greetings from the glorious republic of Yakabakoo!"
- From just one episode of The Goon Show, a British comedy radio show that aired in the mid 1960's and starred Peter Sellers (early Pink Panther period). Winners: NOT!

June13
"...and to my attorney I bequeath not a boot to the head but a rabid Tasmanian Devil to be placed in his trousers..."
- From the mid 1980's Canadian comedy group "The Frantics", possibly their most well known skit, "Last Will and Temperment". Winners: Nada. I'm creamin' you guys.

June20
"...I wanna burn villages, I wanna eat dead burnt bodies, I wanna have veins in my teeth! I wanna kill! Kill! Kill!"
- Arlo Guthrie tells us about his military induction experiences in part two of the Alice's Restaurant Massacree (1967). Winners: Wedge, Nick (actually attended it!), RizMan, Jay.

June27
"Took my fish head out to see a movie. Didn't have to pay to get it in."
- This is a line from the song "Fish Heads, Fish Heads, Roly Poly Fish Heads" by Barnes and Barnes and a favorite of the Dr. Demento show. Winners: Tom, RizMan
Guesses: Steve Martin, Monty Python

July4
"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night."
- In the eighties, Steven Wright was a new master of the one liner. "I like to fill my tub with water and turn on the shower, then I pretend I'm in a submarine that's been hit."
Winners: Lee, Doug

July18
"That's just sort of Philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage! You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist, you excrement!"
- And so on and so on. In the Monty Python's Flying Circus series, John Cleese becomes extremely upset at the Masons in "The Architect Sketch", early '70s.
Winners: George came the closest.

Aug1
"Smo bic! Smo bic! Smo bic! Do you know fiber?"
- From "Bill Cosby, Himself", the hilarious bit about going to the dentist and seeing smoke rise from his mouth. The novacaine affects his speech. Winners: NOT.

Aug8
"I couldn't hit the horses, I couldn't hit the numbers, I couldn't even hit my wife. But now with a Hoodah Hat, I'm hittin' all over the place"
- Philip Proctor and David Bergman of the Firesign Theatre did a PBS special with all new material in the '80s. The Hoodah Hat was a "commercial". Winners: no way.

Aug22
"All Brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end."
- Such was the new theory about the brontosaurus presented by Miss Anne Elk (AKA John Cleese) in an early '70s Monty Python sketch, after much coughing and "ahems". Winners: Only me.

Aug30
"Accept these treats; fried chicken embryos and beer."
- From the original '70s cast of Saturday Night Live, this is from the sketch "Coneheads Halloween". Although several knew this was Coneheads, the "treats" should have given it away as a Halloween sketch. Winners: Dale and Jay

Sep12
"I was the walrus! Paul wasn't the walrus; I was just saying that to be nice, but I was actually the walrus!".
- From the National Lampoon album "Radio Dinner", early 1970's. The NatLamp guys have always had a collection of musical artists that do good imitations of real recording artists, and this was a mock of John Lennon going on about his plight as a star. It continues, "And Mick Jagger, I think that Mick's a joke with all his stupid faggot dancin'... I always did. Wigglin' 'is arse, you know it's just a lot of bullshit! And where does he get off saying all those nasty things about the Beatles, when every fuckin' thing we ever did Mick tried to copy... " etc. No winners.

Sep19
"Do you carry your books funny? Do you wear your wrist watch backwards? Then you may be a latent homosexual. Call 555-homo-nomo for my free information kit."
- Hah! Gotcha with two in a row from the National Lampoon people. But this one isn't from a record album, it's from a rare video "film" from the early eighties called "Disco Beaver from Outer Space". This bit is from a pseudo public service announcement by Anita Bryant. Winners: Bill wins a second time! Congrats. You win the free information kit mentioned above.

Sep26
"If airline seat cushions are such great floatation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?"
- Can you believe that no one guessed this Seinfeld bit? It's from just a few years ago!

Oct3
"Well, it's wonderful to be with you again, isn't it Ronnie?"
"Yes it is. And in our packed program tonight..."
- This British comedy show "The Two Ronnies" starred Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker, and aired in the '70s. Winners: Dan guessed it! Nice going!

Oct10
"I pour melted wax all over a table, then I set it on fire, man!"
- Cheech and Chong, "Big Bambu" album. Wedge guessed it first, just like last March when I used this the first time! Congrats to Mike, the only one that noticed the repeat.
At least some of you are actually reading these things.

Oct17
"At the airport they ask questions now like, 'Did any stranger ask you to carry anything?'
I ask, 'Did this work once? Did some guy say Oh ya got me, my luggage is full of dynamite'?"
- Louie Anderson, THIS YEAR! No takers.

Oct24
"Perhaps you are noticing our tight slacks which enhance our bulges?"
- Mid '70s, those wild and crazy guys from SatNite Live, Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd are "The Festrunk Brothers". "We wish to hold onto your big American Breasts!"
Winners in order: Jay, Bill and Jeff. Alright!

Oct31
"This town... This town... Is a sealed tuna sandwich, Sealed tuna sandwich, with the wrapper glued..."
- Both a movie and an album in 1971 by Frank Zappa, "200 Motels", about life on the road with a comedy rock band (the Mothers). With Ringo Starr. Winners: Not this time.